The End of an Existence - Said's Story

Living Life Again

"The day has come, the journey has taken 7 months and 1 week, but the journey is far from complete. Let me take you back to how it started.

I had taken, from the age of 21, numerous types of drugs from alcohol, hash, marijuana, skunk, speed, ecstasy, magic mushrooms, trips, coke, and finally Crack. Crack was the drug that overruled all the others. This drug had taken such a hold in my life to the point that nothing mattered or existed. At the age of 27, I had a thriving locksmith business; my turnover was in excess of £100,000 a year. It had taken me 5 years to build the business, and I was looking forward to purchasing another shop in the hope of expanding, but in a matter of 3 weeks all that had changed.

I started to loose interest, I left the running of the business to a guy I employed, I went to parties eventually getting bored with this. I was out every night until the early hours of the day, smoking crack in a hotel or spending the nights in my van. The hours just disappeared.

Said Before

Said Now

I was unaware or not bothered about the time, only the fact that I had to smoke as much crack as I could before day break. I felt like a demon lurking in the shadows, afraid of the spotlights, unwashed, smelling, sweaty and unshaved.

When I had run out of cash, I would beg my dealer to supply me on tick after spending, at this time, in excess of £200 per night. But the answer would be "no cash no crack". The shakes would set in, reality started to kick in, realizing that I had a home to go to, a wife and kids asleep, unaware that I was slowly killing myself.

Time went by, eventually going bankrupt, owing £47,000. My wife decided to have a break from the stress by going to Morocco to her father and taking along the kids. While my wife was away, I decided to go on the biggest drug bender marathon. I was on my 3rd night of smoking crack with the curtains drawn, phone off the hook and the doors bolted. I continued, oblivious of my health and my surroundings at home. I had turned my house upside down inspecting any suspicious sound that I though I heard, resulting from my paranoia.

Unbeknown to me, my sister had been trying to contact me without any success until I heard knocking on the door, then I heard her voice along with her husband. I froze like a mad dog caught in a car headlights, unable to move. My heart felt like it was about to explode as I heard the key entering the lock and then the door squeaking open. The light went on, I was stood in the corridor facing the door as my sister and her husband entered. I can never forget the instant shock on my sister’s face and the embarrassed pose from her husband. She shouted out

"What have you been doing?"

I could not answer, words were rushing around my head but the sound would not come out. All I could do was gaze down like a crazed fool.

It was not until I was lead into the bathroom that I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was drawn, skeletal and my skin was orange (yes orange, for those of you that had called me orange, you were right, little did you realize just why).

At this stage, my sister said I needed to go to rehab without fail; I agreed after summing up enough courage to accept that I was in the grip of crack and perhaps 1 or 2 days away from serious illness. I stayed with my sister for 1 week without leaving the house until I was picked up by Rob from Narconon. I had no idea what was involved, but I knew that I had just lost my liberty. The choice was simple, lose my liberty or lose my life. I chose to lose my liberty.

So my journey continued, and I entered into a new chapter of my life. Two years have now passed since I graduated the Narconon program.

Little did I realise that I was to gain more than just my liberty by going through the program and graduating. The best high is from the adrenalin rush of completing the Narconon program and achieving one's goals.

After leaving Narconon and joining my family again, life for me felt like it had just begun. I was able to secure a job without a problem and generally stabilize my life. I applied some of what I had learned through the life skills courses at Narconon to do this smoothly. I knew that by being ethical and putting my attention on the things that really mattered, I would be able to resolve problems and I did… except for one. I didn’t feel completely fulfilled. I wanted to do more in life. It wasn’t enough for me just to hold down a 9-5 job; I wanted a challenge.

I found that my addiction to drugs had been replaced by an addiction to life. I thought long and hard about which way to take my career. After being a locksmith for 25 years, I didn’t think I was qualified to do anything else, but then I realised I had actually graduated from the university of the streets after 20 years personal experience of the harmful effects of drugs. So I decided to utilize this negative experience for a positive purpose.

I am now a Narconon staff member and am dedicated to helping others to achieve what I myself have achieved. Freedom. Freedom from destruction, despair, degradation and ultimate death.

My life has completely turned around. My marriage is stronger than ever. The affinity I have for my children has increased and now I have the energy to actually keep up with them and do all the things that Dads do! I have regained a respect from my parents who had once given me up for dead. The rewards that I have gained from the changes I have made are boundless. My future is exciting to me and has endless potential. I now succeed where I once failed. I hold, within me, the ability to not only control my own destiny but to help others to regain control of theirs, so they too can experience success in life.

There’s a little piece of poetry that I hold dear, which I believe is true for many of us and that is,

“Indecision and Inaction in the Present is because of Fear of Consequence of the Future”.

So, don’t be afraid to make the change, there is nothing to be afraid of."

Said

Best Regards,

Alison Withey

info@drugrehab.co.uk
Narconon London
Hastings Residential Training Centre
Tel. 01424 420 036 or 0800 169 4803

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